no, he came in my armpit
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
