she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
Randomize