Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
