Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
