The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
