Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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