Soap is not a condiment
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
