oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
