so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
