In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Randomize
