I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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