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I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Randomize
