I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
