Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
