You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
