guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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