he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
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I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.