And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Randomize
