Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
