you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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