i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
