yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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