yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
