I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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