I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
