I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize