Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
