I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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