is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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