Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Randomize
