its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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