I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
