Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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