The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
