so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
