so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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