my shit smells like andre
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
