I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
