I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
