The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I got inside last night via doggy door
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
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