By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
