Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize