mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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