I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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