'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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