She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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