guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
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