Sponge bath it is.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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