On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
