I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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