I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
