Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I intend to get homeless drunk
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Randomize
