I must be too annoying 4 u.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize