My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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