So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Randomize
