So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
