I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
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