I hate your face
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
