Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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